"Here art thou in appointment fresh and fair,
anticipating time with starting courage."
Troilus and Cressida
Act IV, Scene V
There are times when procrastination serves us well. Sometimes we have to cease being slaves to the impulse of doing whatever we think is right. Sometimes being in not knowing, lost in uncertainty, in the freedom that confusion affords us, there is a stirring that our deeper un-breathed breathes need to dislodge. Wisdom is rooted in quiet, uncomfortable truths. For what learning did not preceed through the door of confusion? What new insight did not spring out of a restless thought? Procastination is often the path to that place.
More often than not, procastination is disguised in activity. We are so busy rinsing and repeating outlived habits and thoughts that we forget to trust ou instincts. As a result we fail to see beyond what we feel.
Procrastination is neither good or bad, but what we make of it. It has a bad name because it is not always good. At worse it is a form of cannibalism. Using ones capacity to aimlessly consume ones existence and potential is not a capital offence, but killing each moment adds up. Over a lifetime, that is a living death.
The challenge is when we are conscious of our procrastination. When we can put our finger inside the wound of their own addictive thinking, and find ourselve addicted to such an addiction. We woe in the mire of intellectual masturbation. A bad case of over-thinking is all consuming. As my dear friend Jeremy Preedy used to call it "over egging the custard". Procastination is neither good or ill but it is what we make of it. The struggle in the space between knowing and doing, is as old as to be and not to be and all that shit.
If procastination is consuming us, there are three steps that can open the future. Free ourselves from its empty bondage:
1) Ask.Call a friend. Admit we are stuck. Ask for help. Reveal and revel in our vulnerability not as a shameful scar but as door to new beginnings. Let someone hear our nonsense so it can vibrate through them back to us. But at such times we must avoid friends who want to "help" us, lest they infect us with their distraction. A true friend is one who is wise enough to allow us to listen to ourselves through their silence.
2) Start. Break the momentum. Lets begin. Taste what it feels like to begin. Start right now. In the next 3 minutes start to do the one thing that we want but dread the most. And only give it the luxury of three minutes. Even if we do not finish it will not matter because at best we may arrive in a place that is not here. At worst it may give us something else to overthink about. However, we may find a point of view or touch upon an energy in ourselves, a perspective we could not imagine but can only know by making a decision or taking an action. Breaking the inertia of our thoughts requires a leap of faith. But once it is released, it creates its own energy. Carves its own pathway forward.
3) Play. Cease the vanity of taking ourselves so damn seriously, Our life is just a brief itch. We are a temporary craving. This silliness we call an existence, this too shall pass. So with only a finite number of breaths, why not let the next one breathe in the fallacy of this drama. Relish these costumes. Take this make up seriously. Fix this silly wig. If life is a game (which of course it is) then lets play at being here today. This moment will either become a memory we will cherish or it will be wiped away like dust in the wind like so many billions of lives before us. Each aching care blown away in a whisper. Pfew! It is gone. So why are we so hung up? Why are we taking this emptiness so seriously?
All of these require us to be surpried, to tear up the old script. Abandon our identity. To cease thinking, but do something different. Why worry so much about our identity? It is going to slip off our stiff cold carcass one day soon enough. Why not today? Let our old self be. Let it go. Move on. Do something that is not on a to-do list. Do just one thing that makes us afraid. Sit in the uncertainty of it all. Taste the fear. Meet the person we never imagine we would know. Ourselves.
"This dangerous treason lurking
in our way to hinder our beginnings.
We doubt not now but every rub is
smoothed on our way"
Act II, Scene II