"Thy friendship makes us fresh"
Henry VI, Part 1
Act 3, Scene iii
We are born alone and will die alone. Whilst we breathe, our lives are defined through our relationships with others.
As true friends we do more than share values and appreciate each others strengths and flaws. We refine our appreciation of ourselves, re-tune what it means to be alive, like two hands that wash each other, we wash out the confusion, help each other to discover what it means to be ourselves.
True friends are mid-wives of change. Not the whores of influence. A true friend draws out the power that is concealed deep within us and gives it back to us. A friend does not expect perfection or for us to be like them, they lower their own defenses and allow us to meet them full head on, they do not waste energy fearing being judged or passing judgment on us.
Every day I am confronted by people tormented because they choose to invest every minute, their very heart and soul into cutting down, sizing up and placing emotional judgments on others. The people consumed by the futility of this foolishness, fail to realize the energy it takes to hate another human being and just how much this poisons their own view of themselves.
Every day I am confronted by people who are tormented because they will not forgive themselves let for being human. They heap shame on themselves and shy away from compliments, they are in a position to lead their tribe in a new direction, but do not know how to forgive themselves or others for being human or celebrate the greatness that resides in their midst. Rather than enjoy whats going on, they are too busy rushing to the next big thing, heaping even more self criticism on for good measure. This activity tap spurns more time poverty, consumes them with negativity, which in turn gulps up precious time and engulfs their ability to do it right once.
The headlong obsession with activity is an addiction to self annihilation. The busy-ness runs so deep that interrupting it is more painful than continuing the pointless punishment, so the beat goes on.
We are born alone and will die alone. Whilst we still breathe, perhaps our lives should be lived and defined through our relationship with ourselves? By be-friending ourselves, we can get past the poisonous self to the real self imprisoned beyond our rational reach.
Perhaps we need to do more than wear our values like a worn out fashion accessory? Perhaps we should challenge others to be more of themselves and if we care enough about each other to do so, perhaps we need to give the same gift to ourselves?
"To set a gloss on faint deeds, hollow welcomes,
Recanting goodness, sorry ere 'tis shown;
But where there is true friendship, there needs none"
Timon of Athens
Act I, Scene ii
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