”To be or not to be, that is the question"
Hamlet - (Act III, Scene I)
When I am at the mercy of indecision, not knowing what to say or do, society tell us to 'cease dithering' and make a decision. To do something I am told is better than to do nothing.
Doubt, indecision and procastination are my friend. When I have no doubts, I am equally at the mercy of ignorance and it's cousin arrogance. Indecision allows me to sharpen my saw, to question openly the issues and alternatives.
Doubt is the needle a poet uses to tear apart the seams of what seems to be true and to thread together a new meaning that is so obvious but often out of grasp.
Doubt allows the scientist and the pioneer to break out of the comfort zone and uncover new paths.
Why then is doubt and indecisiveness given such a bad name? Inquiry is the complete opposite of decision and action.
Perhaps it is because when we are busy making decisions and taking actions, we are safe from our own ignorance and insignificance. Perhaps we would not be caught dead admitting that we don’t know what to do. Our substance would fall apart. No one would take us seriously. Our very being would be torn apart in ridicule. So we choose to tuck our hearts and heads into the dullness and illusion of certainty.
If we allow doubt to flow freely, fearlessly, cutting through the morass of our opinions and certainty, to a fresh field of fears and precious doubt, perhaps we could awaken to a more poetic and scientific reality?
We do not need to be held hostage by our own certainty. We do not need to fear being wrong or now knowing. Once our emotional turmoil has subsided, perhaps we can know ourselves better and each other. Nothing wrong with that, even if the journey to this discovery is a messy and decidely undecisive.
"How all the other passions fleet to air,
As doubtful thoughts, and rash-embrac’d despair,
And shuddering fear, and green-ey’d jealousy.
O love! be moderate; allay thy ecstasy;
In measure rain thy joy; scant this excess;
I feel too much thy blessing; make it less,
For fear I surfeit!"
The Merchant of Venice (Act III, Scene II)
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